Post #100 / Looking Back & Forward / Gaining Some Balance

Post 100. The blog has made it to what I consider to be an important milestone, one that kind of sets the bar for what a “real blog” is, one that has stood the test of time for the most part and has been able to hold up in terms of both content and longevity. 100 posts. For me, it kind of represents a crossroads, a time to look back and see what has already been accomplished, and to look forward and see where to go from here.

Looking back, man has this been one hell of a ride so far. I’ve said it multiple time already, and will continue to do so since it still amazes me: I never expected to have this type of result in the speed that I did. I recognize that these results are incredible, but I also recognize that these results are not typical. I’m not sure exactly how to say it, except to say that one of my fears is that it almost lessens the impact, or takes away from the significance of what I’ve done in terms of motivating others, because if they are comparing themselves to me, it’s impossible (or damn near impossible) to replicate the results. Yes, it’s inspiring, but to someone who is just starting out, I can see how they would see it as an unattainable goal to replicate these type of results. To replicate my results over 2 times the time scale would be more realistic. But things to consider are that when I do something, I DO IT. Just jump in, feet first and blinders on. Focus on the task at hand, sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of my life. More on that later. But wow, what a trip it’s been so far. Life (and my body and mindset) as I know it is so completely different than it was when I started this whole process. Pretty incredible and I know that even though the past several months have been filled with hard work, dedication, and sacrifice, (and that’s been kind of a bitch), I have changed my life forever and the benefits will be felt not only by me, but by my family as well.

Looking forward, I am planning on adding some structure. To be honest, I have been operating on a kind of “post when I get the chance” type of model. It has served me well, but I am looking to start turning my focus to other things in my life. Things are about to get REALLY busy for me, moving (and consequently buying and selling my new and old houses), training for the races, work, family obligations, etc… (no majorly extraordinary stuff here, it’s things we all have to deal with, but it just seems like I have/ am going to add a few more balls in the air than usual), so I am going to formally put out there that this will be a weekly updated blog. One post a week, plus extras. Any races, picture updates, etc will all be over and above the regularly scheduled posts. This does not mean I am putting a specified end date on things (although if I were to do something like that, it would probably be Dec 9, one year after my first official picture update. This would give me time to run my final race of the year, post the recap, and then wrap things up.) But like I said, no proverbial “ticking clock” just yet, not sure what I will be doing, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So after a lot of thought, I have decided that I am not going to push and try to turn this log into a thriving weight loss community after all. Full disclosure, I originally intended to make this post #100 a public declaration that I was intending to really ramp things up, try and reach out and really start to touch people that I have not yet gotten a chance to, inspire even more others to get active, and try and begin some sort of burgeoning weight loss community/ movement. After a lot of thought and some uncharacteristically honest forward-looking thought and considerations, I am really content with my accomplishments thus far and having inspired some of the people I already have (the likes of which include some very good friends of mine). I know it seems like a big shift in gears, but here’s the thing about me; I admittedly have the tendency to dream really big and leap into things without realizing the full scope of exactly what I’m doing. This type of mindset results in a few distinct consequences: 1) A lot of half planned ideas that I have started and stopped because either the reality of what I wanted to do did not live up to the image in my mind or because the scope of what I wanted to do would take up way too much time/ energy/ money (or usually, all 3 combined) than I originally anticipated, 2) A lot of things that I just kind of feel my way through and figure out as I go, because I jump into most of these kind of lofty plans feet first and totally invest myself without considering everything involved in seeing things through, and 3) Me having to sacrifice something else that I want or value in order to make sure things get completed. This has led in the past to me having to put out personal money over and above what the individual contributions from the group members should be, sacrificing time from my family and/or other hobbies, and generally biting off more than I planned on chewing. Now I know I am not in a position to bitch, because I am fully aware I am the person who puts myself into these situations all the time. But just because I have made these mistakes on many occasions in the past does not mean I am doomed to not learn from them and repeat them forever. I know enough about myself to know that I am always going to find some way to occupy myself and throw myself into. It’s just who I am and how I’m wired, but to be honest, I am always going to be going down this weight loss road and maintaining what I have accomplished over the past year but I want to really focus my efforts into being a better husband, father, and friend. I don’t feel like I’m lacking in those departments by any stretch, but there is always room to improve. I know that I can get “tunnel vision” when I’m really dialed into something that I’m doing, and it’s time to lose the blinders, relax a little, and just enjoy life.

That last bit about enjoying life being said, I am definitely looking to relax a bit and gain some balance. I have lost 120 pounds. I have actually exceeded my original intended “ideal” weight loss goal by 20%. Enough is enough. It’s time to start relaxing and enjoy the fruits of my labors. I’m not going to go bat-shit crazy and go gorging myself, but I am going to start relaxing, get my head right with eating all my calories and then some, and eventually stop leaning so heavily on MyFitnessPal to log every bite of food that goes into my mouth. I am trying pretty hard to learn how to manage things and gauge myself to maintain the same portions, eating habits, and learning when to say when so I can maintain this as a true lifestyle, not just being able to do it with a digital crutch and always having to be sucked into my iphone at all times. It’s going to take some work, as a matter of fact; I anticipate this being just as hard as anything I’ve done to date. I have basically traded one habit for another. Eating recklessly for being hyper focused on the eating. This was a necessary evil, but it does not necessarily have to be for the rest of my life. I can learn how to do things and still keep track without losing my mind and stressing out about it. Again, this is not a problem to really complain about, but when I started this blog, I did promise honesty even when it is not the most flattering to me…so here it is. The trials and tribulations of a guy who’s lost 120 pounds and now has to figure out how to deal with it. Good problem to have. So I am starting the process of forcing myself to get more comfortable with eating more and realizing I’m not going to blow up like a balloon again. It’s going to take some time but I am as committed to this as I am any other facet of the process, so it will get there and hopefully sooner rather than later.

Ok, that is more than enough for today. One last note:

Thank you very much for sticking with me and reading along as I go through this process. If there was absolutely no feedback or interest in this blog, I would have stopped this a long time ago and it would most likely be a diary (or even more likely…nothing because I would have just stopped it altogether). Instead of those scenarios, here I am with 100+ followers, 100 posts thus far and a blog that has 10,000 page views within striking distance. Not bad for a fat guy who just wanted to start running and force himself to be accountable and stick to it.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again:

You all rock, thoroughly and consistently.

Until next time, have a good one.


One response to “Post #100 / Looking Back & Forward / Gaining Some Balance

  1. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. You’re an inspiration to all of us that don’t (didn’t) think we could get our lazy asses off the couch and accomplish an incredible goal! I can’t wait for Tessa to get older and read the incredible journey you went on to get healthy! You are a super father and a true hero to her and she doesn’t even realize it all yet! ❤ to you my friend! Thanks for the motivation to get my life together again!!

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