Still Losing / Plans But No Action Yet / Big & Emotional Milestone For Me

Weight: 264.6/ # of days till next 5K:11 / # of Days till Rock and Roll Half Marathon:194

Loving the weight loss! Booyaa. It’s reassuring that even though I have been sitting around and not able to work out that I can still lose. I’m not stupid and I know that the loss has been aided by my being sick (again…or still…whatever), but I’ll take what I can get. I am also preparing myself for a shitball week (weight-wise), because I am finally getting better and now that I will be resuming a “regular” life.  In order to get me there, I had to go back to the doctor and get my third round of antibiotics (stronger ones this time, because the z pack was not doing a damn thing to slow this thing down) and a healthy dose of steroids. I am guessing that this is going to jack up my weight this week, between the “artificially accelerated” weight loss from the fact I ate basically nothing but soup for the weekend again. That coupled with the steroids and eating regular food again may give me a big old boost in the weight department. If it does, it does, but here’s hoping that I can continue the trend on my diet alone.

So…..workouts…..well…….I got nothing. So what I’m looking at now is one more week of sitting on my ass. But this is the first time in a solid month I am feeling good. I’m not going to be stupid and rush back out there, but if (and that’s a big “if”) I feel consistently better by the weekend, I plan on walking on Sat, and then easing my way back into some runs on Sunday and the following week. That’s all I really have in terms of workouts right now, a whole lot of planning and not a lot of action yet. But soon I’ll be back out there. And I’m really looking forward to it.

Even with being sick, I had myself a banner weekend. I know I’ve talked about this before, but here is a little primer as to why it was such a huge moment for me. I have already shared that I was able to go to the regular store and pick up some work pants, and that was awesome, but the fact of the matter is that even though the regular (read: not big and tall) stores carry my size pants in work slacks, they do not carry the same sizes in jeans. I tried to go grab myself some while I was shopping, and was really bummed to see that they don’t stock jeans in sizes that large and subsequently, I was still relegated to the world of the big and tall store or online shopping. There really is a special little sting that goes along with having to wear clothes so big that you have to go through extra measures just to get them. I’m not saying that ordering your clothes online is terrible or that extraordinary, but when you HAVE TO because nobody will even stock your sizes it just feels like a big ol’ “screw you, you fatty” from the stores.  So I took it all with a grain of salt, and with the mindset of “I’m headed in the right direction and I’ll get there” I went online to old navy and ordered up myself my last pair of internet jeans. When they got to the house, I put them on and to my amazement, they didn’t fit. Too big. Way too big. Sliding off while still buttoned too big. Which meant that I had to take them back to the regular old navy store, and was able to get my replacements off the rack.  Off the rack. In the regular store. I cannot tell you how good this felt. I’m not going to lie; it was a really emotional moment for me. When I came upstairs wearing the internet ordered jeans to show Jenn, it was a moment I’m not sure I won’t forget for a long time. This means I am out of the big and tall store for good. I can make a promise to Tessa, Jenn, and myself that I will never be back there again. I hold no ill will to the big and tall store (except for the outrageous pricing, but hey, supply and demand, right?), but it represents a fairly good chunk of my adult life. This was a chunk of time that was marked with frustration, disappointment, and then eventual acceptance and complacency. (not to mention severely limiting in my choices and essentially “tagging” me as recognizable to other overweight people as someone else who has to shop at the big and tall and pick from the same 10 t-shirts) I will not be complacent or accepting of that position for myself anymore.

So bummer weekend because I was still sick, but HUGE deal / enormous milestone for me, so overall, I’m coming out of this, starting to feel better, and feeling great about myself.

Speaking of which, this month’s progress pics coming later today.

Ok, I hope everybody has a great week and I’ll talk to you soon.


One response to “Still Losing / Plans But No Action Yet / Big & Emotional Milestone For Me

  1. Woooo Hoooo! So very happy for you!

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